Will you take the vow to reconnect?
The reason I started this iniative is to help people who have been adopted, had absentee parents, or once incarcerated parents reconnect with each other one vow at a time. It’s a difficult journey starting over when the only thing you have in common is association (just related). Family is more than being drawn up by bloodline. It’s a sense of connection, intimacy, interaction that makes us more than just an associate.
How do you connect to someone you know nothing about?
How do you relate when you both have reserves?
How do you interact without losing who you are?
I say you just vow to take its slowly. The easiest part is the initial meeting. The hardest part is the building. We can do this!
Truth be told, there’s a lot of patience and forgiveness that comes with it DAILY. I’m not even going to lie. You will bump heads more times than not. The disconnect between you might seem unrepairable but it’s not. I seem to have the hardest time connecting with my birth father but I vowed to reconnect no matter what.
It’s definitely not easy. There’s always a language barrier that tends to distance us. I don’t understand his lingo or use of third person when referencing himself nor does he understand my colloquial euphemisms in terms of regional dialect. It remains a learning curve that won’t happen overnight. You have to see it through.
The holidays are challenging when you’re so use to tradition that fitting in a new relationship is kind of tricky. Doesn’t mean it cannot be done. It just means you BOTH have to want to try from this day forward.
You both have to lay down all extraneous expectations you have set of each other before initial intact and even after. Lay a firm foundation first, build the house, then decorate how you see fit.
You might get angry, walk out, say words you can’t take back or words that might regress the relationship but you just have to keep trying.
It doesn’t matter how many times you disconnect as long as it’s healthy and you’re still in the race. Just keep trying.
While I’ll do the same, will you?
Take the vow!
Use the #IVOWTORECONNECT hash tag and tell me your story.
P.S. check out my journey on YouTube! Use the hashtag.